Equilibrium Psychotherapy

Men’s Health 101

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Everything you were too afraid to ask

Men’s Health 101

Where everything is and the route sperm takes, how the brain and the testes talk to each other, what counts as normal, how the mind and the body affect each other, plain answers to the questions men rarely ask out loud, and how to check in with your own body

31 minute read  ·  6,983 words26 minute read  ·  5,796 words

Detailed explains the research and the reasons behind each point. Plain words gives the same main points in short, everyday language. Safety advice and emergency steps are the same in both.

Plenty of men could draw a rough map of a car engine more easily than a map of their own body. Maybe there was one lesson at school, then some jokes and a lot of guessing, and after that the questions never quite got asked: is this normal, is this the right size, why did that happen, should I be worried about that? If any of those have crossed your mind, you’re far from the only one.

This article answers them plainly. It starts with where everything is and what each part does, follows the conversation between the brain and the testes that keeps it all running, and then looks at what counts as normal, how much the mind affects the body, and when something is worth checking. It’s the companion to the first article in this series, Women’s Health 101, and it follows the same approach. If you’d like everything in plainer words, choose Plain words above.

It describes a body with testes and a penis. Most of the research it draws on was done with men, so that’s the word it uses when describing studies, while recognizing that not everyone with this anatomy describes themselves that way. None of this is anything to be embarrassed about. Knowing how your body works makes it much easier to notice when something changes, and much easier to ask about it.

Part one of six

Where everything is

The parts inside and outside, and the route sperm takes

In plain words

On the outside are the penis and the scrotum. The penis has a shaft and a rounded, very sensitive tip called the glans. In men who haven’t been circumcised, a fold of skin called the foreskin covers the glans and slides back. The opening at the tip is the end of the urethra, the tube that carries both urine and semen out of the body, though never at the same time.

The scrotum is the pouch of skin behind the penis. It holds the two testes, also called testicles. The skin between the scrotum and the anus is the perineum.

The testes make sperm and testosterone. Along the back of each one is a coiled tube called the epididymis, where sperm finish developing and are stored. It’s the part men most often mistake for a lump.

From there, a longer tube called the vas deferens carries sperm up into the body and over the bladder. It joins the duct of a small gland called a seminal vesicle, and together they empty into the urethra inside the prostate. The prostate is a walnut-sized gland just below the bladder, wrapped around the urethra.

Choose a part on the map below to see what it is and what it does.

A short tour of the outside

The parts you can see are the penis and the scrotum. The penis has a shaft and a rounded, very sensitive tip called the glans. If you haven’t been circumcised, the glans is covered by a fold of skin called the foreskin, which slides back. At the tip is an opening, the end of a tube called the urethra. The urethra carries both urine and semen out of the body, though never at the same time.

Behind the penis hangs the scrotum, a pouch of skin that holds the two testes. The skin behind the scrotum, between it and the anus, is called the perineum.

A short tour of the inside

The testes, also called testicles, are two oval organs that make sperm and the hormone testosterone. Lying along the back of each one is the epididymis, a tightly coiled tube where sperm mature and are stored. The epididymis is worth knowing about, because it’s also the part most often mistaken for a lump.

From each epididymis, a longer tube called the vas deferens runs up out of the scrotum and into the body, loops over the bladder, and meets the duct from a seminal vesicle, a small gland behind the bladder. Together they empty into the urethra inside the prostate, a walnut-shaped gland that sits just below the bladder and wraps around the urethra.

Where everything is

Choose a part to see what it is and what it does, or follow the route sperm take

What it is

What it does

A common mix-up

Diagrams, not to scale, and simplified. The inside is drawn from the side, facing left. Every body is a little different, and the outside varies a great deal from person to person.These drawings are simplified and not to scale. The inside view is drawn from the side, facing left. Every body is a little different, and the outside varies a lot from person to person.

In plain words

Put together, the parts make one route. Sperm are made in the testes, finish developing in the epididymis and travel up the vas deferens. Fluid from the seminal vesicles and the prostate joins them, and they leave through the urethra.

Most of semen isn’t sperm. Around 70% of it comes from the seminal vesicles, including a sugar that gives sperm their energy.

That’s also why a vasectomy works. Cutting or sealing the vas deferens stops sperm joining the fluid, while the testes, the hormones and the rest of the route carry on as before.

The route sperm takes

Put together, those parts make a single route. Sperm are made in the testes, mature in the epididymis, travel up the vas deferens, and are joined by fluid from the seminal vesicles and the prostate before leaving through the urethra.

Most of the fluid in semen doesn’t come from the testes at all: the seminal vesicles provide around 70% of it, including a sugar that gives sperm their energy.

It also explains why a vasectomy works. The procedure cuts or seals the vas deferens, so sperm can no longer join the fluid, while the testes, the hormones and the rest of the route carry on as before.

Part two of six

The messengers

How the brain and the testes talk to each other

In plain words

All of this runs without you thinking about it, and the instructions come from the brain. A small area called the hypothalamus sends out a hormone called GnRH in pulses, every one to three hours. GnRH tells the pituitary gland, just below it, to send two hormones through the blood to the testes. They’re called LH and FSH.

LH tells the testes to make testosterone. FSH, together with testosterone, keeps sperm production going. Testosterone also drives the changes of puberty, supports sex drive, and affects muscle, bone and mood.

The testes answer back. As testosterone rises, the brain eases off. A hormone from the testes called inhibin B does the same for FSH. Estrogen isn’t only a female hormone. Men also turn a little testosterone into estrogen, and research suggests that’s one of the main signals telling the brain to slow testosterone production down. Together it works a bit like a thermostat, keeping levels within a range.

Sperm are made all the time from puberty on, millions a day, and each one takes roughly two to two and a half months. So anything that affects sperm can take weeks to show up in a semen test, and improvements take a couple of months to show too. If you’ve made a change, give it time!

The brain starts the conversation

All of this runs without you thinking about it, and, as with the menstrual cycle, the instructions come from the brain. A small region called the hypothalamus releases a hormone in pulses, every one to three hours. That hormone tells the pituitary gland, just below it, to release two hormones into the bloodstream: luteinizing hormone, or LH, and follicle-stimulating hormone, or FSH. Both travel to the testes.

The testes answer back. As testosterone rises, it signals the brain to ease off, and a hormone called inhibin B, made in response to FSH, does the same for FSH. The result is a loop that keeps levels within a range, a bit like a thermostat, rather than a switch that’s either on or off.

The hormones worth knowing

Gonadotropin-releasing hormoneGnRH

Made by the hypothalamus, in the brain

GnRH, short for gonadotropin-releasing hormone, is the brain’s opening message. It’s released in pulses and tells the pituitary gland to get to work.

Luteinizing hormoneLH

Made by the pituitary gland

LH travels to cells in the testes called Leydig cells and tells them to make testosterone.

Follicle-stimulating hormoneFSH

Made by the pituitary gland

FSH works on a different set of cells, the Sertoli cells, which look after developing sperm. Together with testosterone, it keeps sperm production going.

Testosterone

Made mainly by the testes

Testosterone is made mainly in the testes. It drives the changes of puberty, supports sperm production and sex drive, and affects muscle, bone and mood.

Inhibin B

Made by the testes, in response to FSH

Inhibin B is made in the testes in response to FSH. It travels back to the brain and tells it to ease off on FSH, which is how sperm production is kept steady.

Estrogen

Made from testosterone, in the testes and elsewhere

Estrogen isn’t only a female hormone. Men make small amounts of it, converted from testosterone, and research suggests it’s one of the main signals telling the brain to slow testosterone production down.

Sperm take their time

Unlike eggs, which are all formed before birth, sperm are made all the time from puberty onward, millions a day. Each one takes roughly two to two and a half months from start to finish, with real differences from one man to the next.

Anything that affects sperm can take weeks to show up in a semen test, and improvements take a couple of months to show as well. So if you’ve made a change, give it time!

Part three of six

What counts as normal

Size, testosterone, erections and semen, and how much they vary

In plain words

Size is one of the most common private worries. Researchers pooled studies in which health professionals measured more than 15,000 men the same way. On average, the penis was about 9 centimeters (3.6 inches) long when soft and about 13 centimeters (5.2 inches) when erect. Most men were close to the average. Height had the strongest link the researchers found, and even that was loose.

These figures are more reliable than most, because professionals did the measuring, and men who came forward worried about their size were left out. The main limit is that fewer than 700 of the men were measured erect, and few of those in a clinic.

Try the chart below to see where a length falls.

Size, measured properly

Wondering whether you measure up is one of the most common private worries men have, and one of the least talked about. Researchers pooled studies in which health professionals measured more than 15,000 men using a standard method. On average, the penis was about 9 centimeters, or 3.6 inches, long when soft, and about 13 centimeters, or 5.2 inches, when erect. Most men were close to the average. Height showed the strongest link the researchers found, and even that was a loose one.

These figures are more reliable than most, because professionals took the measurements, and the studies left out men with medical conditions affecting the penis, and men who had come forward worried about their size or with erection problems. The main limit is that fewer than 700 of the men were measured erect, and few of those in a clinic.

Where do you fall?

Length as measured in thousands of men

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centimeters

A smooth curve drawn from the average and spread in a 2015 review of up to 15,521 men, so the far ends are approximate. Only 692 men were measured erect. A larger 2023 review of 55,761 men, all measured by clinicians, put the average erect length at 13.9 cm. Nothing you choose here is saved or sent.The curve is drawn from the average and spread in a 2015 review of up to 15,521 men, so the very short and very long ends are only rough. Only 692 of the men were measured erect. A larger 2023 review of 55,761 men, all measured by clinicians, put the average erect length at 13.9 cm. Nothing you choose here is saved or sent.

In plain words

Testosterone does fall with age, but slowly, by about 1.6% a year from middle age in one large study. Men in good health had higher levels than men in poorer health, so some of the drop is about health, not age alone.

One low result on a blood test isn’t a diagnosis. A true deficiency means low testosterone together with sexual symptoms, and in a large study of men aged 40 to 79, only about 2 in 100 had both. Levels change through the day, so the test is usually done in the morning and repeated before anything is decided.

If a true deficiency is confirmed, treatment can help. In the largest safety trial so far, in men aged 45 to 80 with a raised risk of heart disease, testosterone didn’t lead to more heart attacks or strokes over about three years. An irregular heartbeat called atrial fibrillation, sudden kidney problems, blood clots in the lungs and broken bones were more common, though, and the trial was partly funded by a company that makes testosterone gel. It’s a treatment for a diagnosis, not a pick-me-up.

Erections during sleep are usually a good sign. They happen on their own several times a night, closely linked to the dreaming stage of sleep called REM, and the morning erection is just the last one. If you still get them, the physical side is usually working, and trouble at other times may point to stress, anxiety or tiredness. It doesn’t rule out a physical cause, though, so if the difficulties keep happening, they’re still worth raising with a doctor.

If you have a semen test, your results are compared with men whose partners got pregnant within a year. The World Health Organization’s manual puts the lower end at about 1.4 milliliters of semen and about 16 million sperm per milliliter. Falling below those numbers doesn’t mean a man is infertile.

The prostate often grows with age. That’s extremely common, and it isn’t cancer. Because the prostate wraps around the urethra, a bigger one can change how you pee. You might need to go more often, especially at night, or notice a weaker or stop-start flow, or trouble getting started. Those changes are worth mentioning to a doctor, both because they can be treated and because they should be checked rather than assumed.

Men have breast tissue too, and it can grow when the balance between estrogen and testosterone shifts. This is called gynecomastia. It’s very common in puberty, where it usually settles within about three years, and common again after 60. Extra weight, heavy drinking, some medicines, and thyroid, liver or kidney problems can all play a part. So can anabolic steroids, which are synthetic versions of testosterone taken to build muscle, and are different from the steroid creams and inhalers used in medicine.

It’s usually harmless. Still, a few signs deserve a check rather than a wait: a firm lump that doesn’t move, dimpled skin, a nipple turning inward, discharge or bleeding, or a lump under the arm. Breast cancer in men is rare, but those are the signs that need looking at.

Sexual function changes with age, and most of those changes are ordinary rather than alarming. Erections take longer to arrive and need more direct touch. That’s a normal part of getting older, and it doesn’t mean you’ve lost interest. Erection problems get more common too. In one large study of men aged 40 to 79, about 3 in 10 had them, and only about 4 in 10 of those men said it worried them. In a stopwatch study across five countries, the typical time to finish during sex went from about six and a half minutes at 18 to 30 to about four and a quarter minutes after 51.

Testosterone changes gradually

Testosterone does fall with age, but slowly. In one large study that followed the same men over time, it fell by about 1.6% a year in men followed from middle age. Your general health seems to matter too: men in good health had higher levels of several male hormones than men in poorer health, so some of the decline reflects health rather than age alone.

A low number on a blood test isn’t the same as a condition. A true deficiency means low testosterone together with sexual symptoms, and in a large study of men aged 40 to 79, only about 2 in 100 had both. It was rarer in men in their fifties and more common in men in their seventies. Because levels change through the day, the test is usually done in the morning and repeated before anything is decided.

If a true deficiency is confirmed, treatment can help, and the largest safety trial so far is reassuring about the heart. In more than 5,000 men aged 45 to 80 with a raised risk of heart disease, testosterone didn’t lead to more heart attacks or strokes over about three years. An irregular heartbeat called atrial fibrillation, sudden kidney problems, blood clots in the lungs and broken bones were more common, though, and the trial was partly funded by a company that makes testosterone gel. It’s a treatment for a diagnosis, not a pick-me-up.

Erections at night are a good sign

Waking up with an erection can feel random, but it’s usually a good sign. During sleep, erections happen on their own, several times a night by most accounts, and they’re closely tied to the dreaming stage of sleep called REM. They happen in healthy boys and men from early childhood into old age. The morning erection many men wake up with is simply the last one of the night.

This is why doctors sometimes ask about them. If erections still happen during sleep or on waking, the physical machinery is usually working. When there are difficulties at other times, that can point toward stress, anxiety or tiredness. It doesn’t rule out a physical cause, though, so if the difficulties keep happening, they’re still worth raising with a doctor.

What about semen?

If you ever have a semen test, for example while trying for a baby, the results are compared with values from men whose partners became pregnant within a year. The World Health Organization’s current manual puts the lower end of that range at about 1.4 milliliters of semen and about 16 million sperm per milliliter. Those numbers are reference points, not a pass mark. Falling below them doesn’t mean a man is infertile, and the manual itself has moved away from treating them as cutoffs.

The prostate grows

The prostate sits around the urethra, so when it grows it can press on the tube that urine passes through. That growth is extremely common, and it isn’t cancer. In autopsy studies, the changes behind it were found in half of men aged 51 to 60, and the US National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases calls it the most common prostate problem in men over 50.

It usually shows up as a change in peeing rather than pain: needing to go more often, especially at night, a weaker or stop-start flow, or trouble getting started. Those changes are worth mentioning to a doctor, both because they can be treated and because they should be checked rather than assumed.

Breast tissue is not unusual

Men have breast tissue too, and an imbalance between estrogen and testosterone can make it grow. The medical name is gynecomastia. It tends to show up at three times of life: in newborn babies, because of their mother’s hormones; in puberty, when it’s very common and usually settles within about three years; and after 60, when reported rates run from about a third to a half of men, depending on who was studied and how it was defined.

There are many possible causes. Carrying extra weight does two things at once: fat sits over the chest, and it also turns more testosterone into estrogen. Taking anabolic steroidsanabolic steroidsSynthetic versions of testosterone, taken to build muscle. They are not the same as the steroid creams and inhalers used in medicine, which are corticosteroids and work on inflammation. is a known cause, for the same reason. So are some medicines, including spironolactone, the anti-androgens used for prostate cancer, finasteride and cimetidine, and so is heavy drinking. About one case in five is caused by medication, and thyroid, liver or kidney problems can be behind it too.

It’s usually harmless. Still, a few signs deserve a check rather than a wait: a firm lump that doesn’t move, dimpled skin, a nipple turning inward, discharge or bleeding, or a lump under the arm. Breast cancer in men is rare, but those are the signs that need looking at.

What changes with age

Sexual function changes with age, and most of those changes are ordinary rather than alarming. Erections take longer to arrive and need more direct physical touch than they used to, which is a normal part of getting older rather than a sign of lost interest. Difficulties with erections become more common too. In a large study of men aged 40 to 79, around 3 in 10 reported them, and only about 4 in 10 of those men said it worried them.

Timing changes as well. In a five-country study that timed intercourse with a stopwatch (yes, an actual stopwatch), the typical time got shorter with age, from about six and a half minutes in men aged 18 to 30 to about four and a quarter minutes in men over 51.

Part four of six

Mind and body

How stress, mood and health show up in the body, and why men wait to ask

In plain words

Maybe it happened once, and now you find yourself watching for it to happen again. An erection depends on nerves, blood flow and hormones, and also on your mind. Worry about sexual performance affects somewhere between about 1 in 10 and 1 in 4 men. It can cause erection problems or finishing too soon, and then keep them going, because the more you watch yourself for signs of failure, the harder it is for your body to respond. Talking therapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), along with mindfulness, are recommended for this, though few trials have tested them for it directly.

Erection problems are more common than most men think, and not only in older men. In one clinic, a quarter of the men newly diagnosed with them were 40 or younger.

When you’re low, sex can become one more thing that feels hard, and when sex keeps going badly, it’s easy to feel low. Depression and erection problems often go together, in both directions. Men with erection problems are almost three times as likely to be depressed. So if you’re dealing with one, it’s worth mentioning the other to your doctor too.

Erection problems can also be an early sign of trouble in the blood vessels. In a large study of men aged 55 and over, those who developed them were more likely to have a heart attack, stroke or other heart and blood vessel problem in the years that followed. That isn’t a reason to panic about one difficult night. Ongoing erection problems are worth mentioning to a doctor, rather than simply living with them. It can feel awkward to bring up, but it lets your doctor check your heart and blood vessels too.

They’re also very treatable. Tablets such as sildenafil or tadalafil help many men, but taken with heart medicines called nitrates they can make blood pressure drop dangerously, so get them through a doctor or pharmacist rather than an unregulated website.

How you live matters, sometimes quickly. In a small study, a week of five-hour nights lowered young men’s daytime testosterone noticeably. Losing weight raises testosterone. Build up to about 160 minutes a week of moderate to vigorous aerobic exercise, which trials suggest helps, over six months, when erection problems come from inactivity, weight, blood pressure or heart disease. Smokers are about one and a half times as likely as non-smokers to have erection problems. Alcohol is less clear than the folklore suggests. A heavy night of drinking gets in the way at the time, but a review of population studies found no consistent link with regular drinking.

Medicines can play a part too. If your desire has dropped or erections have become harder since you started a new medicine, look at the medicine cabinet before putting it down to stress or the relationship. Antidepressants are one of the most common causes, and finasteride, taken for hair loss, raises the risk of sexual side effects.

Beta blockers, a common heart and blood pressure medicine, have a worse reputation than their record. In one trial where men were all given the same beta blocker, sexual problems were reported by 3% of men who weren’t told which drug they were taking, and by 31% of men told its name and its sexual side effects. What you expect can shape what you feel.

None of this is a reason to stop a medicine on your own. Tell whoever prescribed it what you’ve noticed, even if it feels awkward to say. Keep taking it until you’ve talked, because some medicines, including some antidepressants, cause withdrawal symptoms if they’re stopped suddenly. Ask about the options, which are recognized and include reducing the dose gradually, changing the drug or trying something else.

Lots of men carry something around for months, a symptom or a low mood, and keep telling themselves it will pass. Men are less likely than women to see a doctor for a wide range of problems, and they tend to wait longer when they do, including for their mental health. What men learn about being a man plays a part. This is the part of men’s health that a therapy practice sees most often. According to the World Health Organization, more than 720,000 people die by suicide every year, and worldwide, men die at more than twice the rate of women.

Sexual problems get the same silence, for everyone. In a large survey of people aged 40 to 80, fewer than one in five of those with a sexual problem had asked a doctor for help.

Erections are sensitive to the mind

Maybe it happened once, and now you find yourself watching for it to happen again. An erection depends on nerves, blood flow and hormones, but also on what’s going on in your mind. Worry about sexual performance is common, affecting somewhere between about 1 in 10 and 1 in 4 men, and it can cause problems with erections, or with finishing sooner than you’d like, and then keep them going.

That watching is part of the problem. The more you watch yourself for signs of failure, the harder it becomes for your body to respond. Talking therapies such as cognitive behavioral therapycognitive behavioral therapyA structured talking therapy that works on the links between thoughts, feelings and behavior, often with practical steps to try between sessions., along with mindfulness, are recommended for this kind of anxiety, though few trials have tested them for it directly.

Difficulties with erections are also far more common than most men assume, and not only in older men: in one clinic, a quarter of the men newly diagnosed with erection problems were 40 or younger.

Mood and erections affect each other

When you’re low, sex can become one more thing that feels hard, and when sex keeps going badly, it’s easy to feel low. Depression and erection problems travel together in both directions.

A meta-analysismeta-analysisA study of studies: it pools the results of many studies on the same question to estimate how large an effect usually is, rather than relying on any single result. of dozens of studies found that men with depression were more likely to have erection problems, and men with erection problems were almost three times as likely to be depressed. Which comes first isn’t clear, and for many men it’s probably both, each making the other harder. So if you’re dealing with one, it’s worth mentioning the other to your doctor too.

Sometimes it is the heart talking

Erection problems can also be an early sign of something in the blood vessels. In a large study of men aged 55 and over, those who developed erection problems were more likely to have heart and blood vessel problems, such as a heart attack or stroke, in the following years. The rise in risk was similar to smoking or a family history of heart attack. One explanation often given is that the penis has small blood vessels, where changes may show up before they do in larger ones.

That isn’t a reason to panic about one difficult night. Ongoing erection problems are worth mentioning to a doctor, rather than simply living with them. It can feel awkward to bring up, but it lets your doctor check your heart and blood vessels too.

Erection problems are also very treatable. Tablets such as sildenafil or tadalafil help many men, but taken with heart medicines called nitrates they can make blood pressure drop dangerously, so get them through a doctor or pharmacist rather than an unregulated website.

Sleep, weight and the rest of your life

Testosterone and erections respond to how you live, sometimes quickly, which means some of this is in your hands. In a small study of ten young men, cutting sleep to five hours a night for a week lowered their daytime testosterone noticeably. Losing weight raises testosterone, and the more weight a man loses, the larger the rise. In a trial of obese men with erection problems, two years of changes to diet and activity improved erections for about a third of them. Smokers are about one and a half times as likely as non-smokers to have erection problems, and former smokers sit in between.

Alcohol is less clear than the folklore suggests. A heavy night gets in the way at the time, but a review of population studies found no consistent link between regular drinking and erection problems.

WHAT HELPS

  • Protect your sleep, because even one short week of too little can lower testosterone.
  • If you’re carrying extra weight, losing some can raise your testosterone.
  • Build up to about 160 minutes a week of moderate to vigorous aerobic exercise, which trials suggest helps, over six months, when erection problems come from inactivity, weight, blood pressure or heart disease.
  • If you smoke, this is one more good reason to stop.

Sometimes it is the medication

If your desire has dropped or erections have become harder since you started a new medicine, look at the medicine cabinet before putting it down to stress or the relationship. Antidepressants are one of the most common culprits. In one study, more than half of people whose sex lives were fine before they started one developed some sexual difficulty, and the rate varied enormously between drugs.

Other medicines matter too. Finasteride, taken for hair loss, raises the risk of sexual side effects, antipsychotics differ widely from one another, and long-term opioid use is linked with low testosterone, although the evidence there is weaker.

Beta blockers, a common type of heart and blood pressure medicine, have a worse reputation than their record. Across large trials, they added only about one extra report of sexual difficulty for every 200 people treated for a year. In one trial where men were all given the same beta blocker, difficulties were reported by 3% of those who weren’t told which drug it was, and by 31% of those told its name and its sexual side effects. What you expect can shape what you feel.

None of this is a reason to stop a medicine on your own.

WHAT HELPS

  • Tell whoever prescribed it what you’ve noticed, even if it feels awkward to say.
  • Keep taking it until you’ve talked, because some medicines, including some antidepressants, cause withdrawal symptoms if they’re stopped suddenly.
  • Ask about the options, which are recognized and include reducing the dose gradually, changing the drug or trying something else.

Why men wait to ask for help

Lots of men carry something around for months, a symptom or a low mood, and keep telling themselves it will pass. Men are less likely than women to see a doctor across a wide range of problems, and they tend to wait longer when they do. That includes mental health, where in one survey the gap was widest for the men who were struggling most.

What men learn about being a man plays a part. A review of dozens of studies found that traditional ideas of masculinity affect how symptoms show up, whether a man seeks help, and what he does with treatment once he has it.

This is the part of men’s health that a therapy practice sees most often. More than 720,000 people die by suicide every year, and worldwide, men die at more than twice the rate of women, according to the World Health Organization.

The same silence surrounds sexual problems, for everyone. In a large survey of people aged 40 to 80, fewer than one in five of those with a sexual problem had asked a doctor for help, men and women alike, and fewer than one in ten had been asked about it by a doctor in the previous three years.

Depression may also look different in men, showing up as anger, risk-taking or drinking as well as, or instead of, sadness, although that research is contested and still developing. A difficult stretch is a reason to talk to a therapist or doctor, not to wait it out. You don’t need to be in crisis to deserve help! If you ever have thoughts of harming yourself, contact your doctor, your local emergency number or a crisis line straight away. If you don’t know where to start, you can find the crisis lines and emergency numbers for your country on our helplines page.

Part five of six

Everything you were too afraid to ask

Plain answers to the questions men rarely say out loud

These are the questions men most often keep to themselves. Open any of them for a short answer.

Is my penis a normal size?

Almost certainly. When professionals do the measuring, the average erect length is about 13 centimeters, a little over 5 inches, and most men are close to that. Size when soft also changes from moment to moment, with warmth, cold and nerves. If the worry is affecting your confidence or your relationships, that’s worth talking about in its own right.

Almost certainly. When professionals measure, the average erect length is about 13 centimeters, a little over 5 inches, and most men are close to that. Soft size changes all the time with warmth, cold and nerves. If the worry is affecting your confidence or your relationships, that’s worth talking about in its own right.

Is it normal for one testicle to hang lower than the other?

Yes. It’s very common for one testicle to hang lower than the other, and for one to be slightly larger. What matters is noticing changes over time, such as a new lump, swelling or a feeling of heaviness, rather than differences that have always been there.

Yes. It’s very common for one to hang lower, or to be a little bigger. What matters is noticing changes over time, such as a new lump, swelling or a feeling of heaviness, rather than differences that have always been there.

Does testosterone just disappear as you get older?

No. It falls gradually rather than dropping away, and your general health makes a real difference to where it lands. Most older men don’t have the combination of low testosterone and symptoms that defines a true deficiency. If you’re tired, your sex drive is low or your mood is down, there are many possible causes, and they deserve a proper look rather than an assumption.

No. It falls slowly, and your general health makes a real difference to where it lands. Most older men don’t have the combination of low testosterone and symptoms that defines a true deficiency. If you’re tired, your sex drive is low or your mood is down, there are many possible causes, and they deserve a proper look rather than an assumption.

Are erections in my sleep normal?

Yes, and they’re a good sign. Healthy men have erections several times a night during dreaming sleep, and a morning erection is simply the last one. If you have them, the physical side of erections is usually working, although that alone doesn’t rule out a physical cause for difficulties at other times.

Yes, and they’re a good sign. Healthy men have several a night while dreaming, and the morning one is just the last. If you have them, the physical side is usually working, although that alone doesn’t rule out a physical cause for difficulties at other times.

Does one bad night mean something is wrong?

No. Almost every man has times when his body doesn’t respond the way he wanted, often because of tiredness, alcohol, stress or nerves. It’s worth talking to a doctor if it keeps happening, because ongoing difficulties can have treatable causes, and some of them involve the heart.

No. Almost every man has nights like that, often from tiredness, alcohol, stress or nerves. It’s worth talking to a doctor if it keeps happening, because ongoing difficulties can have treatable causes, and some of them involve the heart.

Where does semen actually come from?

Mostly not from the testes. Sperm make up only a small part of it. Around 70% of the fluid comes from the seminal vesicles and much of the rest from the prostate, which is why semen looks much the same after a vasectomy.

Mostly not from the testes. Sperm are only a small part of it. Around 70% comes from the seminal vesicles, two small glands behind the bladder, and much of the rest from the prostate. That’s why semen looks much the same after a vasectomy.

What is a varicocele?

It’s a swelling of the veins in the scrotum, a little like a varicose vein. It’s found in about 15% of healthy men, usually on the left, and many men never know they have one. It’s worth having it checked if it aches or if you’re having trouble conceiving, since it’s found more often in men seen at fertility clinics.

It’s a swelling of the veins in the scrotum, a little like a varicose vein. About 15 in 100 healthy men have one, usually on the left, and many never know. It’s worth having it checked if it aches or if you’re having trouble conceiving, since it’s found more often in men seen at fertility clinics.

Is it normal if the foreskin does not pull back?

In young boys, yes. A tight foreskin is normal early in childhood and often lasts longer, loosening gradually over the years. In adults, a foreskin that has become tight, sore or hard to pull back is worth seeing a doctor about. One situation is urgent. If the foreskin has been pulled back and won’t go forward again over the head of the penis, and the end becomes swollen and painful, that’s called paraphimosis. It’s a medical emergency, so go to an emergency department straight away!

In young boys, yes. A tight foreskin is normal in early childhood and often lasts longer, loosening bit by bit over the years. In adults, a foreskin that has become tight, sore or hard to pull back is worth seeing a doctor about. One situation is urgent. If the foreskin has been pulled back and won’t go forward again over the head of the penis, and the end becomes swollen and painful, that’s called paraphimosis. It’s a medical emergency, so go to an emergency department straight away!

How often should I check my testicles?

There’s no fixed rule. Screening programs aren’t recommended for men without symptoms, but getting to know how your testicles normally look and feel makes it much easier to notice a change. Many men find that a quick check in a warm shower, about once a month, is enough.

There’s no fixed rule. Routine screening isn’t recommended for men without symptoms, but knowing how your testicles normally look and feel makes a change much easier to notice. For many men, a quick check in a warm shower about once a month is enough.

Does taking testosterone affect my fertility?

Yes, and often dramatically. Testosterone taken from outside the body switches off the signals that keep sperm production going. In one study of men attending a fertility clinic while taking it, almost 9 in 10 had no sperm at all in their semen. Most men recover after stopping. In trials with healthy volunteers, about two thirds had recovered within six months and 9 in 10 within a year, although a minority took up to two years.

If you might want children, talk to a doctor before starting testosterone. Guidelines say your fertility should be assessed first, that you should be told what testosterone does to sperm, and that there are treatments which can raise testosterone while protecting sperm production. One endocrine guideline goes further and advises against starting testosterone at all for men planning to have children soon.

Yes, often a lot. Testosterone taken from outside the body switches off the signals that keep sperm production going. In one study of men at a fertility clinic who were taking it, almost 9 in 10 had no sperm at all in their semen. Most men recover after stopping. In trials with healthy volunteers, about two thirds had recovered within six months and 9 in 10 within a year, but a few took up to two years.

If you might want children, talk to a doctor before starting testosterone. Guidelines say your fertility should be assessed first, that you should be told what testosterone does to sperm, and that there are treatments which can raise testosterone while protecting sperm production. One endocrine guideline, from hormone specialists, goes further and advises against starting testosterone at all for men planning to have children soon.

What do anabolic steroids do to the testes?

The same thing, usually more strongly. Steroids suppress the signals from the brain, which shrinks the testes and reduces sperm production. After stopping, the brain’s signals gradually return within a few months, but in a review of studies, testosterone was still lower than before about four months after stopping, and some men take considerably longer.

There’s also evidence that the cells that make testosterone can still be affected years later. And this isn’t a rare habit: an estimated 1 in 16 men, in studies around the world, have used anabolic steroids at some point.

The same thing, usually more strongly. Steroids block the signals from the brain, so the testes shrink and make fewer sperm. The signals gradually come back within a few months of stopping. But in a review of studies, testosterone was still lower than before about four months after stopping, and some men take a lot longer. There’s also evidence that the cells that make testosterone can still be affected years later. Studies around the world estimate that about 1 in 16 men have used anabolic steroids at some point.

I finish sooner than I want. Is that normal?

It’s very common, and how common depends on how the question is asked. In one large survey, almost a quarter of men said they finish too soon. In another study, one in five men complained about it, but only about 2 in 100 men met the strict definition of the lifelong condition, which is finishing within about a minute, nearly every time, since the first sexual experience.

For context, in the stopwatch study the typical time was about five and a half minutes, and the spread was enormous. If it bothers you, the stop-start and squeeze methods, which a doctor or a sex therapist can teach, have some trial evidence behind them, and combining them with medication works a little better than medication alone. Talking therapy for it has barely been tested, although anxiety about performance often keeps the problem going.

It’s very common, and how common depends on how the question is asked. In one large survey, almost a quarter of men said they finish too soon. In another study, one in five men complained about it, but only about 2 in 100 met the strict definition of the lifelong condition. That means finishing within about a minute, nearly every time, ever since the first sexual experience. In the stopwatch study, the typical time was about five and a half minutes, and it varied hugely.

If it bothers you, a doctor or sex therapist can teach the stop-start and squeeze methods, which have some trial evidence behind them. Combining them with medication works a little better than medication alone. Talking therapy for it has hardly been tested, though worry about performance often keeps the problem going.

My penis curves. Is that a problem?

A curve is only a problem if it causes pain, makes sex difficult or upsets you. A curve that has been there since your teens is usually congenital curvature, which means it’s how you were made. That’s different from Peyronie’s disease, where scar tissue forms in the penis and a curve develops later in life, often with pain.

Peyronie’s is more common than its diagnosis rate suggests. In one survey, fewer than 1 in 100 men had been diagnosed with it, while about 1 in 10 reported symptoms of it, and in another, most of the men who sought help for penile symptoms left without the diagnosis. So if a curve is new, it’s worth raising it with a doctor. Treatments exist, including injections and surgery, and the guidelines specifically advise against the vitamin E and other oral remedies sold for it.

Only if it hurts, makes sex difficult or upsets you. A curve that’s been there since your teens is usually congenital curvature, which means it’s how you were made. Peyronie’s disease is different. Scar tissue forms in the penis and a curve develops later in life, often with pain. It’s more common than diagnoses suggest. In one survey, fewer than 1 in 100 men had been diagnosed with it, but about 1 in 10 reported symptoms. So if a curve is new, it’s worth raising it with a doctor. Treatments exist, including injections and surgery, and the guidelines specifically advise against the vitamin E and other oral remedies sold for it.

What is circumcision, and how common is it?

It’s surgery that removes the foreskin. Worldwide, nearly two in five men are circumcised, and about half of those circumcisions are done for religious or cultural reasons. Medically, it’s used for problems such as repeated infections, or a foreskin that’s too tight and is causing pain or difficulty. Being circumcised or not isn’t a health problem in itself.

It’s an operation that removes the foreskin. Worldwide, nearly two in five men are circumcised, about half of them for religious or cultural reasons. Doctors use it for problems such as repeated infections, or a foreskin that’s too tight and causing pain or difficulty. Being circumcised or not isn’t a health problem in itself.

Should I get tested for infections, and does it hurt?

If you’ve had sex with a new partner without a condom, yes, whether or not anything feels wrong. Most sexually transmitted infections cause no symptoms, so testing is the only way to know. It’s usually a urine sample or a swab, often one you take yourself, and it takes minutes. If you have no symptoms, some infections take a few weeks to show up on a test, so the clinic may suggest when to test, or to test again later. The exception is a possible exposure to HIV: medicine taken within 72 hours can prevent it, so go straight away.

Clinics do this all day long and won’t be surprised by anything you say. In many countries sexual health clinics are confidential, and you don’t have to involve your regular doctor.

If you’ve had sex with a new partner without a condom, yes, whether or not anything feels wrong. Most infections cause no symptoms, so a test is the only way to know. It’s usually a urine sample or a swab, often one you take yourself, and it takes minutes. If you have no symptoms, some infections take a few weeks to show up on a test, so the clinic may suggest when to test, or to test again later. The exception is a possible exposure to HIV: medicine taken within 72 hours can prevent it, so go straight away.

Clinics do this all day long and won’t be surprised by anything you say. In many countries sexual health clinics are confidential, and you don’t have to involve your regular doctor.

My medication seems to have affected my sex life. What should I do?

Tell whoever prescribed it, and don’t stop taking it on your own. Antidepressants are one of the most common causes, and the drugs differ a lot, so a change is often possible.

It’s worth saying out loud even if it feels awkward. Most people on antidepressants don’t mention the problem unless they’re asked directly, so your prescriber may not know unless you tell them. For a small number of people, difficulties carry on after stopping an SSRI, a common type of antidepressant. That’s recognized: it’s noted in the diagnostic manual, and European and Canadian regulators have asked for it to be added to drug labels. How often it happens is still unknown, and the only published estimate comes from a single database study.

Tell whoever prescribed it, and don’t stop taking it on your own. Antidepressants are one of the most common causes, and they differ a lot, so a change is often possible.

It’s worth saying out loud even if it feels awkward. Most people on antidepressants don’t mention the problem unless they’re asked directly, so your prescriber may not know unless you tell them. For a small number of people, sexual problems carry on after stopping an SSRI, a common type of antidepressant. It’s noted in the diagnostic manual, and European and Canadian regulators have asked for it to be added to drug labels. How often it happens is still unknown.

Should I have a PSA test?

It depends on your age, your family history and how you feel about the trade-off, which is why the usual advice is to decide with a doctor rather than to ask for it automatically. The test can find cancer early. It can also be raised for harmless reasons, and it finds cancers that would never have caused trouble, with treatment that carries real costs, including incontinence and erection problems.

If you have a family history of prostate, breast, ovarian or pancreatic cancer, or you’re Black, your risk is higher and that conversation is worth having sooner.

PSA is a blood test that can find prostate cancer early. Whether to have one depends on your age, your family history and how you feel about the trade-off, which is why the usual advice is to decide with a doctor rather than to ask for it automatically. It can also be raised for harmless reasons, and it finds cancers that would never have caused trouble, with treatment that carries real costs, including incontinence, which means leaking urine, and erection problems.

If you have a family history of prostate, breast, ovarian or pancreatic cancer, or you’re Black, your risk is higher and that conversation is worth having sooner.

I have breast tissue. Is something wrong?

Usually not. Men have breast tissue, and it can grow when the balance between estrogen and testosterone shifts. It’s very common in puberty and usually settles within a few years, and it’s common again after 60. Weight, alcohol, anabolic steroids and a long list of medicines can all play a part.

See a doctor if you notice a firm lump that doesn’t move, dimpled skin, a nipple turning inward, discharge or bleeding, or a lump under the arm. Breast cancer in men is rare, but those signs should be checked.

Usually not. Men have breast tissue, and it’s very common for it to grow in puberty, when it usually settles within a few years, and again after 60. Weight, alcohol, anabolic steroids and many medicines can all play a part.

See a doctor if you notice a firm lump that doesn’t move, dimpled skin, a nipple turning inward, discharge or bleeding, or a lump under the arm. Breast cancer in men is rare, but those signs should be checked.

Part six of six

Checking in with your body

Getting to know what is normal for you, and when to see a doctor

In plain words

Checking your own body can feel awkward, or even a little scary. It’s worth doing anyway. Testicular cancer is uncommon overall, but worldwide it’s one of the most common cancers in young men, and one of the most treatable. Where treatment is easy to get, more than 9 in 10 new cases are cured, and most are first noticed by men themselves or their partners.

A testicle should feel smooth and firm. The soft, coiled ridge along the back is the epididymis. It’s supposed to be there, and it’s a common cause of false alarms. You don’t need a strict monthly routine. In the United States, screening guidance doesn’t recommend routine checks for men without symptoms, while the UK’s National Health Service advises checking regularly, around once a month, so you know what’s normal for you. Both come down to knowing your body well enough to notice a change, because a change is what matters. The quick check below shows how.

Getting to know what is normal for you

Checking your own body can feel awkward, or even a little scary. It’s worth doing anyway, because testicular cancer is one of the most treatable cancers there is. It’s uncommon overall, but worldwide it’s one of the most common cancers in young men, especially of European ancestry, and on US figures it’s the most common in men aged 15 to 34. More than 9 in 10 newly diagnosed cases are cured where treatment is readily available, and most are first noticed by men themselves or their partners.

A testicle should feel smooth and firm, with the soft, coiled tube of the epididymis along the back of it. That ridge is supposed to be there, and it’s a common cause of a false alarm. The aim is to know your own body, not to follow a strict monthly routine. In the United States, official screening guidance doesn’t recommend routine examinations for men without symptoms, while the UK’s National Health Service advises checking regularly, around once a month, so you know what’s normal for you. The two fit together: knowing your body makes a change easier to notice, and a change is what matters.

A quick check

Getting to know what is normal for you, in a warm shower or bath

  1. 1

    Choose a relaxed moment

    A warm shower or bath is easiest, when the skin of the scrotum is relaxed.

  2. 2

    One at a time

    Hold the scrotum in your palm and check each testicle separately.

  3. 3

    Roll it gently

    Roll each testicle between your thumb and fingers. It should feel smooth and firm, but not hard.

  4. 4

    Find the epididymis

    The soft, coiled tube along the back is the epididymis. It is supposed to be there, and it is not a lump.

  5. 5

    Notice changes

    Look out for a new lump, swelling, a change in size or feel, or a feeling of heaviness, and see a doctor if you find one.

Not a test you can pass or fail. The point is familiarity, so that a change stands out. If you notice one, see a doctor rather than checking again and again.

In plain words

Most sexually transmitted infections cause no symptoms at all, so you usually wouldn’t know if you had one. They’re also very common. The World Health Organization estimates that more than a million curable infections are passed on every day worldwide.

When there are symptoms, they’re usually discharge from the penis, burning when you pee, pain or swelling in a testicle, or sores, lumps or a rash around the genitals or anus. Chlamydia can cause a painful infection in the epididymis, which in rare cases affects fertility. Syphilis deserves special care, because its early sore is painless and heals on its own, and its rash fades without treatment, while the infection stays and can damage organs decades later.

Testing is easier than most men expect. It’s usually a urine sample or a swab, often one you take yourself, and the common bacterial infections are cured with antibiotics.

  • Get tested after sex with a new partner without a condom, even if you feel fine.
  • If you think you’ve been exposed to HIV, don’t wait: medicine taken within 72 hours can prevent it, so go to a sexual health clinic or an emergency department straight away.
  • With no symptoms, some infections take a few weeks to show up on a test, so the clinic may suggest when to test, or to test again later. With symptoms, go sooner.
  • Use condoms consistently and correctly. They’re among the most effective protections, although they can’t fully cover infections that cause sores on skin outside the condom.

Prostate cancer is one of the most common cancers in men. It usually grows slowly and often causes no symptoms early on. Autopsy studies of men who died of something else found it in more than half of men over 79, so a great many men die with prostate cancer, not of it.

That’s why screening isn’t simple. The PSA blood test can find cancer early, but a raised result often has another cause, such as an enlarged prostate, and screening also finds cancers that would never have caused harm. In the European screening trial, after 23 years, one prostate cancer death was prevented for every 456 men invited, and 12 extra cancers were diagnosed for every death prevented.

Advice differs by country. European urology guidelines suggest offering well-informed men a choice about testing from 50, or from 45 for men of African descent or with a family history of prostate cancer diagnosed before 60, or from 40 for men who carry a BRCA2 gene change. In the United States, men aged 55 to 69 are advised to decide with their clinician, and screening isn’t recommended for men over 70. The United Kingdom has no general screening program.

Risk rises with age and with a family history, and it’s higher for Black men. In England, about 1 in 4 Black men are diagnosed in their lifetime, compared with about 1 in 8 White men. If you’re Black or have a family history, it’s worth talking to a doctor about PSA testing sooner.

Infections are usually silent

It’s natural to assume you’d know if you had picked something up, but usually you wouldn’t. Most sexually transmitted infections cause no symptoms at all, and that’s the single most useful thing to know about them. They’re also very common: the World Health Organization estimates that more than a million curable infections are passed on every day worldwide.

When symptoms do appear, they’re usually discharge from the penis, burning when you pee, pain or swelling in a testicle, or sores, lumps or a rash around the genitals or anus. Chlamydia can cause a painful infection in the epididymis, which in rare cases affects fertility. Syphilis deserves special care, because its early sore is painless and heals on its own, and its rash fades without treatment, while the infection stays and can damage organs decades later.

Testing is easier than most men expect, usually a urine sample or a swab you can often take yourself, and the common bacterial infections are cured with antibiotics.

WHAT HELPS

  • Get tested after sex with a new partner without a condom, even if you feel fine.
  • If you think you’ve been exposed to HIV, don’t wait: medicine taken within 72 hours can prevent it, so go to a sexual health clinic or an emergency department straight away.
  • With no symptoms, some infections take a few weeks to show up on a test, so the clinic may suggest when to test, or to test again later. With symptoms, go sooner.
  • Use condoms consistently and correctly. They’re among the most effective protections, although they can’t fully cover infections that cause sores on skin outside the condom.

Prostate cancer and the PSA test

Prostate cancer is one of the most common cancers in men. It usually grows slowly, and it often causes no symptoms early on, because it tends to start in the outer part of the gland rather than around the urethra. When researchers pooled autopsy studies of men who died of something else, they found prostate cancer in about 1 in 20 men under 30, rising to more than half of men over 79. A great many men die with prostate cancer rather than of it.

That’s why screening isn’t simple. The PSA blood test can find cancer early, but a raised result often has another explanation, such as an enlarged prostate, and screening also finds cancers that would never have caused harm. In the European screening trial, after 23 years, one prostate cancer death was prevented for every 456 men invited, and for every death prevented, 12 extra cancers were diagnosed.

Guidance differs by country. In Europe, the urology guidelines suggest offering well-informed men a choice about testing from 50, or from 45 for men of African descent or with a family history of prostate cancer diagnosed before 60, or from 40 for men who carry a BRCA2 gene change, and usually an MRI scan before deciding on a biopsy. In the United States, men aged 55 to 69 are advised to make an individual decision with their clinician, and screening isn’t recommended for men over 70.

In the United Kingdom there’s no general screening program. In March 2026, the UK National Screening Committee recommended PSA testing every two years only for men aged 45 to 61 who carry a BRCA2 variant, a gene change linked to some cancers, and who also have a family history of certain cancers.

Risk rises with age and with a family history, and it’s higher for Black men. In England, about 1 in 8 White men and about 1 in 4 Black men are diagnosed during their lifetime, and Black men have roughly double the risk of dying from it. In that same analysis, once men were diagnosed, the risk of dying didn’t differ by ethnicity. If you’re Black or have a family history, it’s worth talking to a doctor about PSA testing sooner.

Changes worth checking

None of the following means something is necessarily wrong, and you won’t be wasting anyone’s time by asking. Each one is worth raising with a doctor rather than waiting to see if it passes:

Worth checking with a doctor

  • A lump, swelling or change in the size or feel of a testicle

  • A dull ache or heaviness in the scrotum that does not go away

  • Erection problems that keep happening

  • Pain or burning when you urinate, or blood in your urine or semen

  • Needing to urinate much more often, or a weak or stop-start flow

  • A tight foreskin that is sore or hard to pull back

  • Low sex drive, tiredness or low mood that lasts

  • A new curve in the penis, or one that is painful or makes sex difficult

  • A firm lump in the chest or under the arm, dimpled skin, a nipple turning inward, or discharge or bleeding from a nipple

  • Low mood, or thoughts of harming yourself, which deserve help straight away

  • Sudden, severe pain in a testicle, which needs emergency care straight away

  • Testicle pain and swelling that build over a day or two, especially with a fever

If you’d rather this didn’t end up on a record your family or employer could see, or there’s no doctor you can reach or afford, a sexual health clinic is often the easier door. In many countries they’re free and confidential, and a pharmacist can help you work out how soon you need to be seen.

Sudden pain cannot wait

Sudden, severe pain in a testicle can be a sign of torsion, where a testicle twists and cuts off its own blood supply. Torsion is an emergency, and every hour counts. In a review of studies, almost all testicles were saved when treatment began within six hours, and the chances fell steadily after that. If it happens to you, go to an emergency department straight away, even in the middle of the night. Don’t wait to see if it settles!

Two other things can’t wait either. An erection that lasts more than 3 to 4 hours needs treating in hospital to avoid permanent damage, so ask someone to take you to an emergency department or call an ambulance rather than driving yourself. And if you suddenly can’t pee at all, even though your bladder feels full, get emergency care straight away.

WORTH BEING CLEAR ABOUT

Much of this research comes from a small number of countries, and some of it, such as the studies of erection problems, used different definitions that make exact figures hard to compare. Guidance on screening differs between countries, and some of it is being updated.

This article is a general introduction. It can’t tell you whether your own body is working as it should, and anything that worries you is worth raising with a doctor, however small or embarrassing it seems.

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Last reviewed October 2026

This article is general information, not medical advice. It cannot diagnose or rule out any condition. A lump or change in a testicle, ongoing erection problems, changes in urinating, blood in urine or semen, and lasting low mood or low sex drive deserve proper medical assessment. If any of this sounds like your experience, please speak to your doctor. Psychological support is intended to work alongside appropriate medical care, never to replace it.

A therapist taking notes on a clipboard during a session

WORKING WITH THIS

When men's health is hard to talk about

Some of what's in this article is easy to read and hard to say out loud, especially about sex or your mood. A session is a place to say it to someone who won't flinch, and to work out what to do next, alongside your doctor rather than instead of one.

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